Become a Master at Conflict Management at Home or Work

Conflict Resolution | Emotional Intelligence | Difficult Conversations | Negotiating | Active Listening | Influencing

4.55 (6090 reviews)
Udemy
platform
English
language
Leadership
category
21,499
students
4.5 hours
content
Dec 2023
last update
$94.99
regular price

What you will learn

Conflict management skills to solve problems and maintain healthy relationships

How to prevent disagreements from becoming unhealthy conflict

A concrete framework and steps for entering into difficult conversations and resolving conflict

The mindset, confidence and skills to facilitate conflict resolution

The advantages and disadvantages of different communication styles

How to calm and manage yourself during conflict

Conflict management at home and on the job with lots of real-world examples

Description

What students are saying

"Dr. Allen is very knowledgeable instructor. He gave great examples during the course. All of his shared stories added more "life-like" explanations to his examples. He really knows his material . Very helpful course." Danet Leon

"100% happy. THANK YOU, Roger! This course has been an enormous help. The structure of the course, the way you explain the skills and principles, and the way you relate the theory to the real world, the examples you give really helped me to understand the theory and the tools. The way you speak and use visual support makes it very easy to follow and comprehend. Your empathetic communication style and realistic way of portraying things (e.g. You won't succeed all the time, but keep practicing to improve) was also very helpful and made it easy to relate to the topics you were talking about. From the first lecture on I started incorporating my new knowledge into everyday life, where of course smaller or larger conflicts arise all the time. And with each step I felt safer, better prepared and was able to reach better solutions as I might have without this course. It should be a mandatory course for everyone. Thanks again." Anna Henker

"The course was amazing. I have learned so much which is now an asset I will be using to solve future conflicts. I wish this valuable information could reach many more people."  Vincent Mandi Muli

"This course is a MUST. For anyone wanting to sharpen their communication skills and truly become a "master at resolving conflict", whether it be at work or home, this course will change your life. Roger is a master on this topic and his teaching, his stories, and his tips are gold for the mind that is hungry for knowledge. Thank you Roger for sharing your wisdom." Ronald Burnett

Overview of course

This course will give you skills in conflict management to successfully turn disagreements and conflict into productive communication so that you can not only solve your shared problems but also grow in emotional intelligence and experience enjoyable connections with others.

The dictionary defines conflict as a serious disagreement or argument. Synonyms include dispute, quarrel, squabble, discord, strife, antagonism. These are not pleasant words. And yet it is likely that you understand their meaning not because you’ve looked them up in a dictionary but because you’ve experienced them. We’ve all been caught up in the unpleasant experience of conflict. For example,

· You're not able to sleep due to a neighbor's late-night music or barking dog.

· You’re on a sales team which has won a big contract. Your new customer wants your product quickly and at as low a price as possible. However, engineering wants to slow the project down to ensure that all technical and quality standards are met. You’re in a tug of war.

· A few of the neighbors have not been paying their homeowners association dues. Others are violating the property rules.

· You’ve come up with good technical solutions to a thorny problem but wonder if there is the political will to implement your recommendations.

· Your boss wants you to work overtime this weekend when you’ve planned a big outing with your family.

· A teenager has trouble getting off the computer to do his chores.

· You and your partner have totally different opinions when it comes to a major life decision.

· A young adult child has returned home and is now living off of you and your spouse claiming that she hasn’t been able to find a good job.

This is just a small sampling of situations that require conflict management with emotional intelligence. Notice a few characteristics of these situations: your emotions are aroused, the stakes are high, the outcome is uncertain, and opinions vary.

You probably don’t like dealing with these situations. They disrupt your peace of mind and cause you emotional discomfort. Unresolved conflict is why family members become alienated and half of all marriages end in divorce. It also accounts for 50% of the turnover in companies. Dealing with conflict is not easy.

Conflict is inevitable

And yet conflict, at least disagreement, is inevitable. We know this. We come from different backgrounds, have distinct personalities, perspectives, needs, values, roles, goals and priorities, all of which set us up to experience disagreements if not outright conflict.

So, the question is not whether you’ll experience conflict but rather how you will handle it. And, unfortunately, we have little training in conflict resolution skills.

Our natural tendencies are harmful

My experience as a psychologist, marriage counselor, business consultant, and executive coach has taught me that many of our natural tendencies are harmful. They make things worse rather than better. Some people, when facing conflict, go into an aggressive and fight mode, others run emotionally and resort to silence or appeasement, and still others distract and avoid. Although our natural tendencies are intended to reduce the impact of conflict, they actually and make it worse in the long run.

Dialogue-key to conflict resolution

Therefore, learning conflict management is one of the most important skills you can learn. I teach you to deal with conflict through dialogue, a communication skill in which people listen to understand one another’s point of view and then agree upon options to solve problems and resolve their disagreements.

This process encourages deep listening, a willingness to share your own point of view and search for solutions that are good for all and not just a minority. Dialogue is talking openly—even about subjects that have historically been “undiscussable.” The more openly you can talk, the better will be your solutions to conflict and the more unified and committed you and others will be to carry them out.

The most successful people are good at conflict management

In fact, I’ll go so far as to say that the most successful people, in any walk of life, are good at conflict management. They are willing to face conflict directly and are even willing to enter into difficult conversations that others want to flee and avoid. They do this because they understand the dynamics of conflict and how to create trusting conditions that will open up communication and lead to positive, even amazing outcomes.

Importance of conflict resolution in your personal relationships

Howard Markman and his colleagues studied 150 couples for 13 years. The couples would come into their lab each year and furnish a massive amount of information about their marriages. In addition, they would subject themselves to being video-taped which the researchers would then analyze for patterns and themes. Their conclusion, at the end of this long-term study was that “it is not how much you love each other, how good your sex life is, or what problems you have with money that best predicts the future quality of your marriage….the best predictor of marital success is how you handle conflicts and disagreements.

This is also true in all our personal relationships. How many people are alienated from extended family members because of the difficulty of holding good, honest conversations? Or how many parents and children are alienated because of their inability to communicate effectively? Dialogue changes that.

Importance of conflict resolution in your organization

Furthermore, I believe that organizations are filled with intelligent, capable people who fall back on poor styles of communicating because it is not safe to express their opinions. The consequences to organizations can be serious if not devastating. Respect is lost. Trust is destroyed. Only a fraction of the ideas necessary for the organizations long-term survival make it to the light of day. The best employees leave and those who stay disengage and do only enough to hold onto their jobs.

Knowing how to use dialogue to resolve conflict changes that. Dialogue is the means by which you surface conflict and have meaningful conversations in your personal relationships and organizations. Such conversations make your relationships and organizations healthier and more effective.

It is my intent to give you the awareness and conflict management skills to face and handle the difficult conversations of your life. And as you learn and apply these skills, you’ll still have differences of opinions and disagreements, but you’ll be able to navigate them with greater confidence and skill.

A little about me

My name is Roger K. Allen, Ph.D. I’m a psychologist, author, executive coach and business consultant with many years of helping people work through conflict both in their personal lives and on the job. I’ve helped hundreds of couples, business partners, executives, department managers and employees work through difficult conflicts to create healthy and harmonious relationships. And I’ve taught many of these methods to other trainers and consultants throughout the world.


Content

Understanding Conflict

Introduction-The Nature of Conflict
Tips to Get the Most from the Course
Mike Blows His Future
Disagreements vs. Unhealthy Conflict
Exercise: Identifying Three Conflicts
Phases of Escalation
Building Trust
Check Your Understanding 1

Styles of Communication

Four Styles of Communication: Part I
Four Styles of Communication: Part II
The Dashed Hope-a Story of Dialogue
What Would You Do?
Exercise: What Would You Do?
Exercise: Identifying Your Communication Style
Five Patterns of Communicating
Check Your Understanding 2

From Conflict to Collaboration

Dialogue--The Pathway to Collaboration
Adam--the New Supervisor
The Conflict Model
Adam Chooses Collaboration
The Failed Strategy
Exercise: Assessing My Readiness for Dialogue
Check Your Understanding 3

Me First--Getting Ready for Dialogue

Collusion
Adopting a Mindset to Resolve Conflict: Taking Responsibility
Dyslexic
Adopting a Mindset to Resolve Conflict: Dealing with Feelings
Adopting a Mindset to Resolve Conflict: Committing to Outcomes
Should I Initiate Dialogue?
Risk-Benefit Analysis
Case Study: A Young Intern
Check Your Understanding 4

Phases of Conflict Resolution: Preparation and Invitation

Overview of the Steps of Dialogue
The Steps of Dialogue Handout
Phase I: Preparation
Exercise: Work Through Your Thoughts and Feelings
Exercise: Evaluating Your Commitment to Collaboration
Phase II: Invitation
Invitation Skill: Leveling
Invitation Skills: Clarifying Intent; Clarifying Concerns; Collaboration
Check Your Understanding 5

Phases of Conflict Resolution: Exploration and Collaboration

Phase III: Exploration
The Skills of Exploration
The Skills of Exploration Continued
Case Study: Agreeing on Property
The Role of Ground Rules
A Deeper Look at Inquiry
The Sleepover: An Example of Listening
A Deeper Look at Advocacy
The Immediacy Skill: Strengthening Your Advocacy
Collaboration
Collaboration Continued
Collaboration: Arriving at Win/Win Agreements
Putting it All Together
Conclusion
Check Your Understanding 6
Bonus Content

Screenshots

Become a Master at Conflict Management at Home or Work - Screenshot_01Become a Master at Conflict Management at Home or Work - Screenshot_02Become a Master at Conflict Management at Home or Work - Screenshot_03Become a Master at Conflict Management at Home or Work - Screenshot_04

Reviews

Aurel-Ionut
November 8, 2023
Can't really say this course is life changing, but definitely provide some important information on how to manage conflict.
Florence
November 3, 2023
So far, it's right on point with my own experience. I recognize my past and current disagreements in the situations described, and I'm eager to learn more on how to deal with them better
Jose
October 28, 2023
This is probably the most important course that I have taken in my life, without exageration. If I had taken this 35 years ago, my personal and professional life would have been incredibly different. Although a little late in life, I can still use this insight to improve the rest of my life.
Jennifer
October 21, 2023
I don't feel like I'm being lectured to, rather it seems like an offer to help learn. I'm looking forward to the lesson, and hope I take away something I can keep.
Justyna
October 20, 2023
Interesting course with valuable insight and clear conflict management structure. Plenty of documents to save and view after the course. Thank you!
Justine
July 26, 2023
This is a superbly-organized course with university-level content, clearly communicated and applicable to virtually all spheres of life.
Hayley
July 25, 2023
I enjoyed all of the examples Dr. Allen gave throughout the course. They made the important info more clear.
Kyle
July 25, 2023
Just finished this course and am very impressed with the pace and presentation. I recounted some times during my management experiences when using the phases of dialogue more effectively would have made the process easier for all. Better late then never though. Thank you so much for making this course and I encourage others to take it!
Cathy
July 23, 2023
I appreciate all of the examples provided. This definitely helped the the learning. I also like the pace the material was presented. I definitely will practice the tools and use them in my role to help others resolve conflict.
Lydia
July 11, 2023
There is hope…to better communicate, better understand, better cope and best of all...have a little serenity with some of these tools! Thank you.
Katharine
July 6, 2023
i have heard many of these concepts before but never explained in this manner. This course helps to bridge concepts to understanding and provides a pathway to improvement that is straightforward and easy to digest. There is a saying that only if you truly understand something can you break it down into a simple process, this course demonstrates this totality of understanding.
Anonymized
July 2, 2023
Muy buen tema con otro enfoque ya que habia tomado anteriormente unos similares pero este es diferente
Christine
June 30, 2023
The course was organized, and structured well, and the pace of learning I thought was good. The instructor was clear and easy to follow.
Stefany
June 30, 2023
The handouts are helpful. The video length is appropriate for the content. It was also nice to break up the learning into different times for studying and learning.
Joshua
June 28, 2023
About halfway through the first section. The instructor seems to know what they're talking about and is passionate about his field of expertise. Topics seem to be well broken down into digestible parts. Not much more you can ask for from an online course.

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7/12/2019
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